January 25, 2008

Maternity pants: Are they for everyone?

Posted in Babysitting tagged , , , at 1:02 am by Lauren

Lately, two of the women I babysit for have gone shopping on my watch and come back with new maternity pants – but they’re not pregnant. On my most recent visit, they sang the praises of maternity pants in an effort to convince me that I too should invest in a pair. Maternity pants are so comfortable! A woman’s body fluctuates so much within a given month. (Heck, within a given day!) The band of stretchy material across the stomach has a flattening effect.

That is all fine and good. Lord knows I could use a flattening effect across the middle. But it just seems like a letterpress invitation to speculation if I start buying and wearing maternity pants. Oh, probably no one would ever know – until I raised my hands over my head to reach something on a high shelf or wore a shirt that was too short.

Now, some speculation about whether I’m pregnant or not (I’m not, and don’t hold your breath just yet) is natural, I suppose. I mean, I’ve been married for a couple of years, and it appears that I adore children. I probably like “other people’s children” more than a whole lot of other people (parents or otherwise). (Right, Mom?) But the fact of the matter is, nobody would be speculating if I were a size 8. So until I’m so trim I don’t need to wear maternity pants, or until I’m actually pregnant, there will be no maternity pants for me.

(By the way, I do think about babies a lot. I mean, I’m around them at least three days a week. But I do the baby check pretty often: “So, does this make you feel like you want to have a baby?” The baby check has never yet come back positive. Anybody else do the baby check? I can’t help it. Like I said, I’m around babies a lot.)


1 Comment »

  1. Breana said,

    As someone whose fave pair of pants is STILL the first pair of maternity pants I ever bought, I can attest to their siren-like allure! Of course, you’re right that one doesn’t look very siren-like in them.

    I also do the baby check–I’ll look at the kids’ baby pictures and think, “Do you want another one?” So far, what comes to mind is: “SLEEP, I need sleep!” The fact that both K and C have been sleeping through the night for months now should be a good sign that 2 is just right for me. 🙂

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